I have been struggling with an issue and no matter what I seem to do I cannot find a solution. Now this issue is not a serious one but it is an important issue that needs closure. This issue has been in my head every day, nagging, weighing me down with insecurity. It is like having a voice in my head constantly saying, I forgot something important? And, sometimes it suddenly hits me, a flutter in my stomach that quickens my heart beat. Day after day, it is there. Month after month it is still there. Then, I finally make a conscious effort to let go of the “need” to find a solution, I realize the solution was staring at me the whole time. It is like spontaneous clarity. Why could I not see it before?
Sometimes Parties who are divorcing, separating, or experiencing some trauma or loss in their life, they have such a strong “need” to “just get through the day” that they tend to miss what is right in front of themselves. It is important to understand that our experiences are what make us who we are. Regardless of the kind of separation, it is still a loss (trauma) that we experience. As part of our own human experience, as much as we want to just close our eyes and “just get through the day,” this is the part that is essential in our human experience if we want to emotionally grow.
You will never truly begin to heal until you let go and make peace with yourself. Letting go is not easy. In fact, it may feel like it is an impossible task. There can be a lot of pain and guilt. This pain and guilt can be extremely heavy to carry everywhere you go. It will weigh on your physical and emotional state of mind consuming you until “you” become too heavy to carry. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying you have to forget, just put the pain and guilt down for a while. Whatever your loss, do not allow it to keep you from healing. Try it. Seriously, just try it for a day. Then, try it for one more day. Keep trying until you can get through the week and then month. Soon, a year or 10 years will have passed and you will realize you have done it, you have let it go.